Say Something to Incite Social Change

This past Monday was Martin Luther King Jr. Day.  Many of us had the day off of work and school and enjoyed some time to ourselves in honor of a man who helped to change history.  Dr. King's words have been repeated countless times since his assassination -- immortalized on the internet, spray-painted along bridges, quoted in other speeches, etc. 

"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about the things that matter."

~Martin Luther King Jr.

I have learned over the course of the years that the certain privileges I hold allow me many benefits in our society; and for a long time, this brought me shame.  It made me feel undeserving of what I may have had, knowing that because of an aspect of their identity, others were not afforded many of the opportunities as me. To better understand privilege and oppression and everyone’s unique experience and identity, I’ve engaged in workshops, classes, conversations, and self-reflection. I’ve looked for ways to be an ally, to help establish some sort of equilibrium in our culture.

But then I came to a realization: You can use your privilege to incite positive change.  

Most of us belong to one or more privileged groups. And we can use that privilege to make social inequities seen, heard, noticed, and challenged. We can use our privilege to fight for social equality. It is a lot less risky to Say Something when you see or hear someone being racist, classist, sexist, homophobic, etc., if you are a member of the same privileged group as the person perpetrating the oppression. It is far less dangerous, especially to your physical safety.
 

This is a photo of my real life computer, on my real-life desk at work.  Just a little reminder that I have placed in my eye-line every day.  I encourage you to feel inspired by the words of MLK Jr. and allow yourself to Say Something -- to help someone else, to work to end oppression and violence, and to incite social change.

Laura Penney is the Community Engagement Coordinator at Safe Passage and the project director of the Say Something Prevention Initiative.

Say Something Highlight: Pyramid Of Harm

The Mentors in Violence Prevention (MVP) program created the Pyramid of Abuse to describe the social forces that support gendered violence.  If you haven't heard of the MVP program, you should definitely take a look at the great work they are doing in schools, colleges, sports teams, military units, and other areas where individuals can be empowered as active bystanders against gendered violence.

The Pyramid of Abuse is such a phenomenal visual about how the smaller, less noticed, less commented upon, or less taken seriously forms of violence located at the bottom of the pyramid (jokes, objectification, language, and strict gender roles) form the foundation that allows other, more serious acts of violence to occur.  The concept of the pyramid, where each ascending act of violence is build upon a strong base of systematic and cultural norms around gender is truly inspiring.  

However, at Say Something, we saw a bit of a void -- or more accurately, a HUGE connection!  We were inspired by the Pyramid of Abuse to create a Pyramid of Harm that describes the continuum of damage caused by many types of bias. The image represents our understanding that bias forms a foundation for discrimination and violence.  That means, any form of discrimination and violence, any form of oppression.  If we changed the examples on the pyramid to speak to racism, classism, heterosexism, ableism, ageism - and the list can go on- it becomes evident that they follow a similar pattern.  A pattern whereby there are cultural norms set in our day to day lives (in the form of language, systems, and structures) that establish a foundation for the escalation of violence to the tip of the pyramid: death/homicide/murder.

Our goal, at Say Something, is to encourage everyone to speak up and Say Something when they see or hear acts of bias and discrimination being perpetrated - regardless of the category of oppression being witnessed.  If we can communicate why a rape joke isn't funny, or suggest to someone that using a racial slur is not appropriate, we can start to deconstruct the foundation of violence and oppression.  And these small acts will lead to big changes for everyone.


Laura Penney is the Community Engagement Coordinator at Safe Passage and the project director of the Say Something Prevention Initiative.

The Cost of Allowing Violence

When we hear stories about violent relationships, we generally react sympathetically to the victim — sometimes aggressively to the perpetrator — and think to ourselves, "what a sad/scary/unfortunate/awful/terrifying/etc. situation".  We wonder how this person is coping with the violence and lack of safety in their homes, whether they are safe in this very moment, and if any children are being exposed or victimized.

Sometimes, we think, "Wow, I didn't even realize.  They seemed like such a normal couple."  Or we question the informant's legitimacy, disbelieving the story for whatever reason we choose to select.  I would argue that many of us also think, "I need to do something about this," whether or not we follow through with the sentiment.

But, there is a theme that appears across these reactions: we are focusing on the violence in a individual level.  We think about the family where the violence is occurring, about the victim, about the perpetrator, and, sometimes, about how we are affected personally by the situation.

And that is a completely normal, legitimate, appreciated, and important part in connecting with the work.

Relating to domestic violence on an individual level fuels the work many of us do: providing services to individuals, helping friends or coworkers recognize an abusive relationship, educating teens about what a healthy relationship looks like, etc.  We see the faces of the people we are helping; we see changes, one person at a time, and that is enormously encouraging when we walk everyday through a culture of violence and oppression.

A recent article in Forbes, discussed the cost of domestic violence, naming it a secret killer that costs $8.3 billion a year.  This article is just an example of the fact that while the individual connection with domestic violence is so important to much of our work, the broader, societal implications have to be acknowledged within a larger framework.  Domestic violence affects victims not just in their homes -- there are lasting affects on employment, health and well-being, children, and many other aspects of life.  The costs of domestic violence in our communities, in our society, and in our world are large and span over many facets of life for victims, perpetrators, and community members.  This is just one example of how important it is to understand how violence impacts systems of which we are all a part.

So, if you haven't been in a situation to connect on an individual level with someone who is experiencing domestic violence or haven't found a connection to the work yet, you should take a look at the staggering numbers in the Forbes article about what domestic violence costs us all.  And how each of us, in our roles in the community have the power and ability to make changes, bring about awareness, and participate in making our communities and our world free from violence.


Laura Penney is the Community Engagement Coordinator at Safe Passage and the project director of the Say Something Prevention Initiative.